Speaking in gestures

When I first arrived in Shanghai I was really aware of the language being spoken and how I was NOT able to understand it. I still haven’t started Chinese lessons, but now rather than being hyper-aware of what people are saying around me (and my inability to understand it) it’s faded into some sort of background noise that I don’t pay attention to anymore. So much so that I was passing through security at the entrance of a metro stop the other day and by the time I’d realized the security guard had said ‘thank you’ to me in English, rather than Chinese, I was already headed down the stairs to the train and really regretted not being able to say ‘you’re welcome’ to him in English.


What’s (maybe?) worse is that I’ve stopped even saying English words when communicating with Chinese-speakers. Before, if I needed a bag in a store, I would bring up both hands like they were holding onto bag handles and say, “Bag? Bag?” It was of course the miming that made what I wanted understandable, but at least when I verbalized I felt like I was making some sort of effort.

(On the flip side of this, I would also launch into prolonged English conversations with people who clearly had no idea what I was saying, and for some weird reason even though I knew they didn’t understand anything I said I would end it with “Do you know what I mean?” As if they would understand THAT and give me some sort of verbal confirmation that, no, they did not know what I meant and would I please leave their store/restaurant/taxi before I wasted anymore of their time).

But lately, along with no longer actually listening to the language being spoken, I’ve moved into a phase where I sometimes no longer even speak what I want in English.

Last week I was at a checkout in a grocery store and instead of saying “Bag? Bag?” I just held up both hands, holding my invisible bag. The clerk just nodded and gave me my bag.

And strangely, even saying the few Chinese words I do know was intimidating because even though I’d heard them spoken many, many times since I’ve been here, I was worried I wasn’t pronouncing them correctly. So, the first time I said ‘thank you’ to a clerk in a store who handed me my change I half expected her to get angry at me for sullying her language with my American mispronunciations. But, she just nodded – the same nod as when I ask for a bag using improvised sign language – and we all moved on with our lives.

Just for fun, these are the Chinese words now in my repertoire:

Hello – Sometimes (OK, most of the time) if a clerk greets me with the Chinese word for Hello, I respond back in English because I’m afraid they’ll think I know Chinese and continue to speak to me in Chinese.

Thank You.

Receipt – for when you’re in a taxi. For some reason when I first arrived a lot of westerners told me to make sure I get a receipt when I take a taxi in case you’re scammed, but I have yet to understand how I would even KNOW I was being scammed. So, now I just have a collection of taxi receipts piling up.

Gam bei – which is a toast that I think equals ‘Bottoms up!’ and I think I usually use it in the wrong way, like “You need to Gam bei that drink so we can go.” I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to wish the drinker good health and then ‘Gam bei.’

Bathroom – This is the single most important Chinese word I know because I have yet to find sufficient body language that indicates the need to find a bathroom.