{Photo: Lisa Gervais}
I realized we were going uphill and that’s when I knew I was in trouble. I mean, we were on an incline, and it was relentless.
Here’s some background: I come from a flat area, and while I enjoy running up the really big hill by my house because it breaks up the monotony of a long, flat run, I have no experience motoring up a sustained incline. (My closest experience? The time a friend taught me to snowboard and I couldn’t get the hang of tow rope, so I had to keep walking up the bunny hill, then falling down it, then walking back up.)
So, here I am at the bottom of a mountain in
I think, “Hey, how hard could it be?”
I mean, I can walk, right? Plus, I was told we were taking the back way up the mountain because it was “easier” than the front (I may have confused the word “easier” with “easy.” It’s worth mentioning no one said “easy.”)
Long story short, I am so out of shape.
How out of shape?
I’m pretty sure it took me three hours to get to the top.
I’ve never been a smoker, but I wish I had been. At least that would justify having to lean up against boulders to catch my breath every 10 minutes.
I rarely encountered anyone coming back down while I was on the way up, but oh how jealous I was of them. Taking long strides downhill, their breathing, so easy! Taking in the scenery. Serene, bumbling jerks. Didn’t they know how tired I was? One of them even had the audacity to come strolling around a corner with a kid on her back. A kid! On her back!
I did, at one point question whether or not the view from the top would be better than anything I could have Google imaged. I mean, the internet is pretty fancy nowadays.
(Also, as a testament to my mind’s ability to wander and to my fierce loyalty to reality shows, I spent a good chunk of time contemplating what exactly Olivia Polermo – Socialite! Star of MTV’s The City! – would wear while hiking)
Once I decided Polermo would be wearing jaunty ensemble mixing
The path was narrowing and I had to navigate boulders, but still no summit.
I kept looking up, trying to tell if the trees were ending, and still no summit.
Up, up, up and still no summit.
I had moved to the side of the path to let a group of about 15 middle aged men pass by me on their way down.
One of them stopped and asked, “Are you going up or down?”
HELLO! I’M GOING UP THIS
“Oh, so you came up the back way?”
YES, YES, HELLO! I CAME UP THE
“Well, you’re not that far.”
{There was a lot of this taking pictures stuff, too. Photo: Lisa Gervais
And this man was not a liar. (Good for him, right?)
I hiked on for a short distance and then came to the summit.
And it was beautiful.
I think it’s some sort of trick that Mother Nature plays.
On the way up, I really hated Earth for making me tired. I was bitter and angry at Earth. Stupid Earth with your stupid inclines!
And then you get to the top and there’s just this beautiful panoramic view of
You’re a tricky one, Mother Nature. Tricky.
